Wanna look like this? Well, here's the traning regime, courtesy of 300'phisical trainer, Mark Twight*
1 Switch to a low-fat, low –carb, no sugar or dairy diet. Veg and meat where it's at.
2 Gather together the following essential tools: the spare tyre from an articulated lorry or, for preference, a JCB; a wooden box about one foot square; ropes with rings on the bottom, handing about a foot off the floor; a rowing machine; 50lb weight; a traned fitness professional.
3 Try the following exercises:
a. Flip the tyre up and down the road, 25 metres each way.
b. Jump up onto and down from the box as many times as you can, as fast as you can.
c. Put your feet on the box, your hands on the rings and do push-ups.
4 If you throw up, or need a lie-down after five minutes, well done! You're working hard enough. Now get up, you maggot, and get back to it!
5 Need motivation? Partner up. Set your partner to rowing, say, 500 metres, while you do lunges up and down the room while holding the 50lb weight high over your head. The catch is that you can only stop when your partner finished their row. Make sure it's someone who likes you and doesn't want to prolong your agony.
6 Repeat for two month, for at least two hours a day. Follow with hours of sword and fight training.
7 Still not quite there? Follow 300's example and cheat, Yes, it's okay to use airbrushing to highlight your abs and pecs for true Men's Health look.
* Of course, we're not seriously suggesting that you should do any of this. Probably best to just drink egg yolks and boxercise. Or something.